STOP losing money trying to profit off of crypto day trading!!!

Michael Jeffries is the #1 expert-for-hire. Offering an array of specialty service, you can bee confident that whatever money you give Michael, you will walk out with more.

Michaels uses a special set of skills, including: front-running mev bots, arbitrage micro caps, ZK Rollup Peek-throughs, hyperbolic liquidity pooling, metaverse real estate flipping, and more

Minimum deposits start at $5000, and can be paid in USD, BTC, ETH, and USDC. Visit MichaelJeffriesCrypto.com today!!!

If you are interested in creating Bitcoin NFTs, but lack the technical know-how required to setup a node and ord wallet, look no further! I have been in the ordinals game since the first week (I am the proud owner of Pixelated Pepe Penis #41, which  is Inscription #479)  and I would love to assist you in getting your project up and running.

Now, you may be aware that there are new services that allow you to inscribe things from their wallets. Let me tell you why my option is better:

1.) I prioritize working with users in the San Francisco area

2.) I charge based on total number of inscriptions, whereas the wallets will charge per inscription (you will save money)!

3.) I offer other services, including assistance in distribution, helping you get the ordinals to your wallet, etc

If interested, shoot me an email at [email protected] 

San Fran has a car break-in problem. NO ONE is surprised.

With over 20000 recorded incidents last year, we now average 55 break ins per day. But does the mayor's office or police do anything about it? Heeellll no. Frankly, we're tired of waiting. So, the ~20 of us that are in this group started taking shifts watching our cars. Sure enough, these cowards will skip overt the vehicle if there are witnesses right in the vicinity. 

We are charging only $10 a night per car. We prefer to do entire streets/lots at the same time, so make sure to tell your neighbors to join you. 

Let us save you money that you would be spending on windshields: 555-411-8121

SAM BANKMAN-FRIED. CAROLINE ELLISON. OTHER GRUBBY GREMLINS BEHIND THE FTX COLLAPSE. WE ARE COMING FOR YOU.

This is a call to all of those in our community affected by the recent collapse of SCAM-TEE-EX. We want vengeance. The San Francisco branch of the FTX Recovery Protocol is taking current inventory of any and all unfortunate souls looking for justice. You money is gone. Maybe your hope is gone as well... but not ours. 

We shall use the stench of SBF's smegma and Caroline's coochie crust to pinpoint their locations. We are not expecting much resistance. The only thing barricading their doors will be piles of soiled garments that the wretches dispose of lazily. 

While it brings us no joy, we are in need of support: we are asking each and everyone one of you, affected as we were, to give us whatever you can. But just know that, unlike Scum Barfman Fuckwad and Cuntoline Gelatin, we keep our promises. And our promise is this: with your assistance, we are GETTING BACK WHAT'S OURS.

Any number helps. Please find our GoFundMe --> Search for "The FTX Recovery Protocol - San Francisco"

I am so fucked. I am so fucking fucked. This is such bullshit. Shit. I owe $600 dollars on my taxes. I JUST BOUGHT A HOTTUB. I JUST BOUGHT A ROOMBA. 

I don't WANNA TAKE IT BACK. I LIKE THE HOTTUB AND THE ROOMBA. I DON'T WANT TO SELL MY GUTTER CAT GANG POSTER. I DON'T WANT TO SELL MY MAYC BUTTPLUG.

Looking for someone to do my taxes and figure out how to fuck the irs. Thaaaannnkkksss ;D ;P <3 

Have you been a victim of unfair treatment by a business or corporation? Has this ever happened to you?

You bought a house but it was not disclosed to you that there was a termite infestation in the walls and in the moldings, so you have to take it upon yourself to call your own termite extermination company, but when they guys show up, they immediately ask if they can use your bathroom and for over two hours they take turns going in and out of there taking huge mud pies and over flushing, then they go in there together and you hear a bunch of scrounging around and then you hear a bunch of yelling, and one of them is standing in the bathroom doorway shouting at you that his friend's foot's stuck in the toilet, and he says "help him! You gotta help him!" And when you go in there to help him he just pulls it out easily and laughs because his foot wasn't stuck. It wasn't stuck at all he was just faking it. And then they get really serious and say "It's turbo time!" and they both start running around the house as fast as they can and jumping over the couches, but when you try and jump in they yell at you and they say "YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE TURBO TEAM! DON'T RUN. YOU DON'T RUN WITH US! WE'RE THE ONES WHO RUN! UNTIL YOU'RE PART OF THIS TURBO TEAM, WALK... SLOWLY!" . So you go and lay down to be by yourself and read your art books, but then the next day you went to the bathroom and it looked like the hole in your toilet had shrunk. You said, "How could that be? There's no way they could have shrunk the toilet." but then you saw in the trash, a receipt from Home Depot for a toilet the exact same size as yours, but with a joke hole that's just for farts! They replaced your real toilet with a fart toilet! And now you can't take a dump in your house, cause your toilet can't suck them down, and you feel sick to your stomach!

Has that ever happened to you? Call me right now please.

555-011-0212